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Josephine the elephant arrived early for her Minute Clinic therapy appointment in CVS, which was held at the end of aisle 9, near the cold and flu remedies.

The therapist, a hedgehog wearing a white coat and spectacles, was just finishing up with a flustered gazelle, whose red-rimmed eyes leaked. Josephine couldn’t tell if the tears were happy or glad.

What seems to be bothering you today? the hedgehog asked Josephine.

Well, my partner and I are having trouble conceiving, so sex (here Josephine lowered her voice so other customers browsing in the store couldn’t listen in) has become a bit of a chore, if you know what I mean, and I’m tired of pretending it isn’t because why should all the pressure to keep things glossy and calm fall to me and I’m unhappy at work because I’ve asked for a raise repeatedly but my boss keeps putting me off and I do so much more than all the other elephants in my department and my sister is the biggest braggart in the world, if I have to listen to her go on about how she’s always been the responsible one, not to mention the daughter our parents prefer I’ll scream and my skin has become unbearably gray and wrinkled – do you see? – and I’ve thought about getting a lift but honestly I can’t afford surgery and I have so much student loan debt it’s ridiculous and worst of all, there’s this litany of bad news about the planet all day, every day, and I can’t help think we’re all going to be extinct sooner rather than later, it’s a miracle the sky is still there every morning, don’t you think? but everyone just goes about their lives like nothing’s wrong and I have a lifetime of issues with my mother who doesn’t respect my right to...

I’m sorry, the hedgehog interrupted. That’s all the time we have left. He glanced over Josephine’s shoulder where a line had formed. Fox, panda, snake, frog – all patiently waiting their turn.

Wait. Is this literally a minute?

Yes, dear.

Josephine grimaced, which made her ears flap. She hated being called honey or dear. Hated peanuts. Zoos. Animal programs on Nat Geo. Circuses. Cruciferous vegetables.

But you haven’t given me any advice.

Not to worry. I recommend getting more exercise and having heart-to-heart talks with all the people in your life who’ve disappointed you. Next.

When the fox stepped forward, Josephine lifted her trunk and bellowed, causing the entire line to back up to the First Aid section.

The hedgehog looked decidedly uncomfortable.

Are you even certified? Josephine said.

My credentials are not the point, madame. I believe you have an anger management problem, best-served by seeking out a trained psychologist.

What are you, Josephine demanded. A hardboiled egg? I thought you’re supposed to be a trained therapist.

She raised her leg – not in a threatening manner – it had started to itch and she wanted to rub it against a bottle of berry-flavored Theraflu. But the hedgehog misunderstood. In a blink, its spine got even pricklier and it curled itself into a tight, unforgiving ball, with its head, tail and legs tucked out of sight.

Oh, for goodness sake, Josephine exclaimed. How can you help others when you’re so gosh darn sensitive?

No answer from the hedgehog.

As she backed down the aisle – why were they so narrow in the first place? – Josephine passed the row of worried looking animals.

You know, she said to the frog, hedgehogs are carnivores that enjoy snacking on small birds and amphibians.

The frog jumped in surprise and gave a sort of anguished moan.

Josephine picked up a box of Band-Aids and a tube of nasal spray and got $3 off the bill, through CVS cashback. When the sliding doors of the drugstore closed behind her, she had to admit she felt a little better.